Finishing up for the night as Flynn sleeps beside me.
I look in the mirror as my bedtime bath runs and I don’t like what I see, which is the scars from years of picking at my skin. I recently realised I don’t just physically pick at my skin, but I pick on myself mentally too- always putting myself down and calling myself names. I don’t do that to anyone else so why do it to that person in the mirror. Why do I despise her and her face in the way that I do and make her feel so inferior?
The quote following this paragraph describes how I feel about attempting to cover the scars and imperfections with make-up and clothes. I don’t find it fun and I don’t tend to bother with it (except for the concealer and powder) because I’m afraid of being exposed as a fraud when it all comes off.
“Beauty is about perception, not about make-up. I think the beginning of all beauty is knowing and liking oneself. You can’t put on make-up, or dress yourself, or do you hair with any sort of fun or joy if you’re doing it from a position of correction.” – Kevyn Aucoin
Time goes so fast, I could always leave the decorations up ready for this Christmas but the balloons have had it though.
Seeing these two on my bed reminded me how I always had to sleep with dozens of cuddly toys but what I really wanted was dogs and cats. And now look, I have these two, all these years later. How blessed I am!
A little self-help to sleep on. Not literally; that would be uncomfortable.
Quite surprised by the start of this new year, I almost didn’t have anything to post, which would have ruined my plan to start a new thing at the beginning of 2017 – to document each day with a photo.
As I was getting ready for bed, my husband said, ‘I brought up your phone and diary,’ and there it was on the bed. Perfect! Out came the ipod touch, I got for Christmas for instant photos and snap! so begins the start of a new year and new things.
Wondering what will unfold and what will be written in this diary of 2017, fills me with excitement and intrigue!